PREMARITAL COUNSELING - DOES IT CHANGE/AFFECT THE OUTCOME OF A MARRIAGE?

Marriage counseling in Nigeria is as much a part of wedding as the bride and groom. Hardly will you find a church that will wed you and your spouse without you signing up for their marriage counseling classes. I have often wondered what the power of couples counseling is in a marriage. How many of us remember what we were taught during those classes 5 years into the marriage? You probably consciously follow the 'rules' for a few months or a couple of years after your wedding then you slip back into your real selves. Counseling can affect how a marriage turns out but is not a perquisite to a successful marriage. Having a successful marriage takes you, the real you and the ability to love your spouse for who they are. Which brings me to say, know the real person you're marrying and be sure you're okay with him/her the way they are and if more positive changes happen to them along the way, great! If not, you're still okay with who they are.

Personally, I remember very little of what I was taught during those counseling classes, but I recently stumbled upon the diary I used for those classes and after going through it, I realised that I actually remember and act in line with more of those teachings than I thought and more so because most of what I was taught in counseling was what I already knew and was a part of me even before I met my husband. Marriage counseling is great, but it doesn't guarantee a successful marriage. The life-long counseling a person has (from parents, peers, spiritual leaders and God) even before meeting his/her spouse is what determines who the person turns out to be and thus the success of  a marriage. Marriage is a life lesson that you can't learn in any class, you can only equip yourself with what you believe will help you succeed at it. When you go for premarital counseling, don't be one to just read instructions, answer proper questions, get good grades but never had proper teaching OR learning. Don't say what you think your spouse wants you to say, be true to yourselves. Never forget, it takes three (with God of course) to make a marriage work.

By the way, how many of you said yes ( or will say yes) when the man of God leading your counseling classes asked if both of you have had sex, even though you have? Hehehehe. I'm guessing none of you. Lying to a man of God now, aren't you? lol.

You know I always love to hear your opinion, so, please, share your thoughts.

GHANIAN ACTOR CHRIS ATTOH AND MODEL ISIO WAHOGHO ON THE COVER OF WED MAGAZINE

Ghanaian actor, Chris Attoh and Nigerian model, Isio Wanogho look gorgeous on the cover of WED Magazine’s Dress Issue. Inside the 256 page edition of the magazine there are more pictures featuring stunning wedding outfits with tips and ideas to make your big day a memorable one.

Also Ezekiel Adamu of Balmoral Halls, speaks on the challenges of his business and the future, Nigerian  celebrity cake maker, Tosan Jemide of Cakes by Tosan talks on how successful his business is, reminiscing on some of his most memorable creations.

TOP TEN BRIDAL HAIRSTYLES FOR 2013

I bring you the 10 trend setting wedding hairstyles for 2013. If you want a new look for your big day check out these beautiful wedding hairstyles that will trend in 2013. Even though you are going with a pro, you can try out some of these styles before your big day, so you can come up with the style that works best on you and will last.  Plus it's an excuse to get dressed up.

 1. On the Romantic Side -  I totally love this hairstyle. It's very romantic. If you're going with this hairstyle, make sure that the side sweep is on the side that will be in pictures, and facing your guests.

 2. Braids: Braids are huge this year and will continue in 2013. The braid can be a cascade/waterfall braid, braided up do or braids wrapped around a bun.

 3. Vintage Vixen: You know I love me some retro look (If you missed my post on Vintage hairstyles, read it HERE). The retro wedding hairstyle is back and there's no better way to bring out your inner vintage vixen than with the signature hairstyle of the 60s.

Continue after the cut...

THE MYTH BEHIND THE TOSSING OF THE BOUQUET

The tradition of throwing the bridal bouquet dates back to customs that were popular in the 14th century (actually, it didn't start with the bouquet, read on, you'll see what I mean) involves the gathering of all the single women at a wedding and then the bride turns her back to them and throws her wedding bouquet. It is believed that whoever catches it will be the next one to get married. Meanwhile, more than half the time, the person who catches the bouquet is not the next in line to walk down the isle. Makes me wonder why it is still such a huge part of wedding ceremonies. Nowadays, tossing the bouquet can be uncomfortable for unmarried female guests who do not wish to marry or who feel put on the spot by the custom. Also, competition to catch the bouquet can become a violent stampede. Some brides even stage the event so that their maid of honor or a friend who is engaged catches the bouquet. Others choose to give a small bouquet to each of their bridesmaids, or to give each woman at the reception a flower from the bridal bouquet. Let me share with you the story behind the myth of tossing the bouquet. Very funny story indeed.

In medieval Europe, a bride typically did not expect to wear her wedding dress again, and the dress was considered good luck for other women, a type of fertility charm. After the wedding, single women chased the bride and ripped pieces off her dress, leaving her in tatters. Over the years, wedding dresses became more expensive and it became traditional for women to keep them, either as a memento or to pass on to a daughter for her wedding day.

To prevent guests from ripping the wedding dress, brides began throwing other objects as a distraction, one of which was the garter (an elastic band, usually decorated, worn around the thigh just above the knee to used to hold up stockings). Later, the bouquet became the most traditionally thrown object. The wedding bouquet is particularly suited to this use, as flowers symbolize fertility, and as perishable items, they are not something the bride would wish to keep. The bouquet is also a safer item to toss than the garter, as unruly and impatient wedding guests were sometimes known to try to take the garter from the bride while she was still wearing it. Lol.

Bottom line, throwing of the bridal bouquet seems to me like a tradition that isn't going anywhere anytime soon. It excites guests to see who the lucky gal to catch the bouquet is and just generally adds to the fun of the ceremony. By the way, I caught my best friend's bridal bouquet and I was the next one to get married. Imagine that! True story.

CHRISTMAS THEMED WEDDING: RECEPTION

For your Christmas themed wedding reception, consider using ivy, mistletoe and garlands instead of a lot of fresh flowers because of the weather during this period. You might even use dried flower bouquets or cornucopias as centerpieces at the reception. Also, you can have a Christmas tree at your reception, decorated in your wedding colors. You could hang ornaments on the tree to give to guests as favors; if you have a smaller guest list, consider personalizing each ornament with your guest’s name and ask them to find their ornament on the tree, you know, a little adventure. Sounds like fun, right? Remember, the colors to be used for the decorations at the reception must be your theme colors.

See more after the cut...

CHRISTMAS THEMED WEDDING: INVITATION CARDS

This time we will discuss Christmas themed wedding invitations. Even though you'll want to reflect the season and your theme, you don't want your I.V to look like a holiday card. Don't use a folded card (just a suggestion though), go for the traditional thick white card, with a border and engraved or thermo-graphed text. Ensure to send out your I.Vs out atleast 12 weeks to the event since people make plans for the holidays earl. 

Shape

Because it is a themed wedding, you can try a significant Christmas item shape, for example make it in the form of a Christmas bell or a mistletoe, that would certainly be unique.

Color

You can use any of the colors I described in the previous posts on Christmas themed weddings; red, gold, hunter or forest green, silver and royal-looking midnight blue, for the wedding invitations, as long as it's included in your chosen theme colors.

 If mid-night blue is part of your theme colors, this shade of color will be perfect. See more samples of Christmas wedding invitation cards after the cut...

EKU EDEWOR AND DAMILOLA ADEGBITE COVER GENEVIEVE MAGAZINE WEDDING ISSUE

Tinsel star, Damilola Adegbite and 53 Extra presenter, Eku Edewor grace the cover of Genevieve Magazine for it’s annual Wedding Issue this December. These two will definitely make stunning brides someday. Beautiful cover.

I totally love their gowns, absolutely stunning! Don't know which one I love more. You?

According to the magazine:

“It’s our second wedding issue and we got our super gorgeous cover girls, Studio 53 Extra’s Eku Edewor and ex Tinsel star, Damilola Adegbite glam up the pages until you drool. Eku and Dami are single (for now), but like every woman, they have their hearts set on their wedding day with that special guy (*wink* *wink*).

CHRISTMAS THEMED WEDDING: THE CAKE

I just love to eat cake and love that they become beautiful works of art that can really make a statement about the bride and groom. Some cakes are more simple and elegant and some are more edgy and crazy. You can choose square, round, octagon, a mixture of these shapes layer by layer, etc. You can choose to have the layers stacked one layer on top of the other, you can have space inbetween for floral, etc. You can do a "present" looking cake, you can do a mad hatter cake, etc. You can use ribbon, floral, colors, monograms, cake toppers, etc. So many options! The princess theme . . .

This is Billionaire Real Estate mogul Donald Trump and Melania Knauss's magnificent wedding cake. It is 5 foot high 50-pound, seven-tier orange Grand Marnier chiffon cake with a light Grand Marnier butter cream filling, and topped with 3,000 white-icing roses. If gold is included in your Christmas themed colors, this would be perfect for your D-day (if you're Dangote or Adenuga's daughter ofcourse) or something similar to this.

This has got to be one of the most unique cakes I have ever seen. Remember the Christmas wedding theme colors we discussed yesterday? I brought you samples of cakes with each of the colors. See them after the cut...

CHRISTMAS THEMED WEDDING: THE BRIDESMAIDS

For a Christmas wedding, the attire need to be completely in accordance using the theme of Christmas, so there is less experimenting with colors. However, there is a great deal of scope to experiment with designs, patterns and fabrics (usually taffeta or satin). Christmas colors for the bridesmaid dress can range from festive red, gold, hunter or forest green, silver and royal-looking midnight blue.

 Even though it's your day and it's about what you want, let your bridesmaids' opinion count when choosing what they would wear, after all, they will be wearing it long after the wedding not you. You can spice things up with short cocktail dress with cranberry colored silk scarves, gloves, shoes and hats as accessories. A great idea just crossed my mind! Some of the girls can wear red while some green, or even all five colors discussed here. Whoa, that will be beautiful. Dare to be different I say.

A beautiful white cape or jacket like this can be used for strapless dresses so your girls are not refused entry into the church (that won't be funny o) and also don't forget, December is a chilly season. Plus, they will look so chic and stylish. White will work with whatever color they're wearing.

See more Christmas coloured bridesmaids' dresses after the cut...

CHRISTMAS THEMED WEDDING: BOUQUET

Red and green are natural colors for a Christmas wedding but don't feel limited to this palate. Other possibilities, which will work with existing decorations, include:

• silver and white
• silver and light blue
• burgundy, forest green, and gold (as long as the existing decorations aren't too primary)
• gold and cream

This is a seashell wedding bouquet made with seashells, satin flowers, pearls large and small and ribbon. Now, that's what I call a unique bouquet. I always encourage people to stand out, do away with the norm. This is definitely away from the norm. I love it!

 Not everyone sticks to red as their color theme, if you want something a little bit different, a posy of white roses surrounded by a collar of white feathers would be beautiful for a Christmas wedding theme of icy white and any other colour such as cool blue. 

See more stunning Christmas themed bouquets after the cut...

CHRISTMAS THEMED WEDDING: BRIDAL DRESS

Seeing red? It's the season to see red. If you're going to be Christmas bride ( if you're getting married in December) and you want your wedding to reflect the season, we are going to take a couple of days to discuss every detail of it (you know I like to take it one detail at a time). Yaay! #clapping#. Are you as excited as I am?  Christmas is a wonderful time to get married, not only are you happily in love but the spirit of Christmas seems to bring out the best in everyone. In general people appear more generous and kind.What better way to celebrate Christmas than with a Christmas-themed wedding? Let's get started with the bridal gown, veil and the headpiece.

 Your dress can be the traditional white, adding a beautiful red sash will compliment your gown and can coordinate with your bridesmaid's dresses and your groom's tie and cummerbund. If red is not your color, you can try a touch of green. Breathtaking, right?

Gold is also a beautiful colour to use during Christmas, if you have the heart for it of course. See more Christmas themed gowns and headpiece after the cut...

PHOTO DISCLAIMER

Bride at Heart does not own any of the pictures displayed on this blog unless otherwise stated. If an image belongs to you and you do not want it displayed, please send me an email and it will be removed immediately. Please don't sue me, I'm just a wedding lover who loves to talk and share all things bride and beautiful. *wink*. Thank you.

BRING YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD: VINTAGE SHOES

 To conclude our vintage whirlwind affair, we are bringing our best foot forward- stepping out in those gorgeous 'old school' shoes to complete the retro chic bride look. Brides, don't be a Cinderella and lose that shoe now, this shoes are too beautiful to loose. Enjoy going through this collection of classic vintage shoes.

 If you wanna have that old school-new school feel, this looks just perfect for it. The detail at the rear of it gives it that retro look. So funky classic. Me likey!

 I absolutely love the pop of colour on this shoe, totally beautiful. Sometimes I wish I could get married everyday (to my husband everytime of course) just so I can try on all the bridal dresses and shoes out there. There are just too many beautiful outfits to choose from and then you get to wear just one in one day? #sadface# See more stunning vintage shoes after the cut...

WHO IS A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN?

A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Right ladies? *wink*. Guy, smile na. Hehehee.

RETRO CLASSIC BRIDAL GOWNS

Yaay! Now on to one of my favorite bridal outfits, the bridal gown; and in vintage no less. Yes, it's time to feed our eyes on the some of most beautiful vintage wedding dresses out there. If you're a lover of the retro look and want to appear in a truly unique style on your wedding day, then choosing the vintage look for your bridal image might be a great idea. You can even use a photographer who will develop your photos with a retro look to them. Ladies, as I like to say, be inspired! 

 The vintage wedding look is flirty, feminine, and very conventional. Most of all, this look is about confidence and sophistication! When it comes to choosing a vintage bridal gown, there are a wide range of styles to choose from in the market. Already confused? Not yet o, there are still so many more to check out after the cut.

Adding gloves (not those 'unflatering' Aba-made fingerless gloves I see naija brides using o) complete the retro look. My wedding gown (tailor-made but better than a 'ready-made') was a blend of the old and the new but my elbow-length gloves added to the retro look plus it made me feel so sexy rather than 'bridey'. But if you're not a gloves person, it doesn't matter. You can still achieve your sexy retro look without it. Check out gorgeous vintage bridal gowns (and the source) after the cut...

SOMETHING OLD: VINTAGE INSPIRED JEWELRIES 2

Hi guys. Still on our quest to complete the vintage bridal look, we will complete the vintage jewelries episode here. Check out some lovely bracelets, wedding band and brooch to compliment the hair and the headpiece we discussed yesterday.

 This amazing statement bridal bracelet features a vintage style art deco pendant, encrusted with many sparkly marquise stones, clear rhinestones, and crystal pearls. Stunning right?

 This is a gorgeous sterling silver ring with garnets and a single moonstone from the early Retro period (1930's). (From 1 Thayer Road)

 Vintage Brilliant Diamond 14k Yellow Gold Mans Filigree Wedding Band and Stunning Vintage Garnet Cabochon Pea Pearl 14k Gold Ring (From Tanya's Treasures)

Check out more vintage rings, bracelets and brooches after the cut...

PIC OF THE DAY

Now that's freaky! See the groom ogling the cake version of his wife instead of his wife.

SOMETHING OLD: VINTAGE INSPIRED JEWELRIES 1

Bridal accessories communicate a fashion statement, but they also convey the bride's taste, creativity and individuality. So, be you in your choice of accessories. Just like the headpieces, these also come in gold, bronze, silver and pearls. Make sure your accessories match completely; if you jewelries are silver, ensure to use a matching tiara. But ladies, don't you think it's time to step away from silver for a while and add a pop of colorful jewelry to your outfit?

VINTAGE NECKLACES & EARRINGS

See more lovely designs after the cut...